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New York Mets Host “Be A Met” Day for Fans

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Flushing, NY: With a clubhouse rife with injuries, Major League Baseball’s New York Mets have put an idea into motion in order to lure new blood into the starting rotation. The plan: “Be A Met” Day.

mets_kids  At certain home games at Citifield, the Mets will enlist the first ten children, ages 14 and under, through the gates into playing for the team. These children would fulfill the starting rotation roles left open by Carlos Delgado, Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Gary Sheffield, John Maine, Billy Wagner, and J. J. Putz, among other professional players currently on the disabled list.

“We feel that, with the amount of money we have invested into this team, and the amount of injuries that have come about through these salaried players, that we couldn’t go out and buy up some free agents like Barry Bonds. Since our farm system has also been eradicated by injuries, we can’t play those youngsters, nor trade them to get better players like Roy Halladay. “Be A Met’ Day would take care of these problems,” stated Mets general manager Omar Minaya. “We would be signing young players that are probably just as good, if not better, than our Double-A players presently.”

Each child signed onto a roster spot would receive a complete Mets uniform, bats, balls, gloves, and $25.00 worth of snacks at the concession stands, which is the standard rate of salary for a minor league baseball player.

“This could be a good thing. These kids are hungry, they love the game, and they’ll listen. It’s a lot more than I can say for some of these professional players,” explained Mets manager Jerry Manuel.

Baseball analysts agree that this move could very well begin an upswing for the team. “They can’t do any worse than they’ve been playing. It’s too bad that they can’t take the kids on the road with them,” stated sports analyst Mike Francesa.

This action has already improved clubhouse demeanor. During batting practice, seven year old Justin Thomas showed starting pitcher Mike Pelfrey the proper way to gnaw on his own hand.

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).