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Patriots Release Hernandez: New York Jets to Discuss Signing


North Attleborough, MA: Aaron Hernandez, former tight end of the New England Patriots,  has officially been charged with first-degree murder in the shooting death of Odin Lloyd earlier this week.

Defense attorney James Sultan began to organize how he would be representing Hernandez in yesterday’s bail hearing, with Sultan referring to how great a football player his client is. Unfortunately, Johnnie Cochran had never used this “He’s a pro football player. Be nice to him” defense in the O.J. Simpson murder trial with any success. Hernandez’ bail request was denied.


Hernandez loses, contract, arms, in arrest.

The arrest of Hernandez was quickly followed by the contractual release of the football player by the New England Patriots, sparking a lively debate on what NFL team would be the first to claim him off of waivers.

The New York Jets seem to be a prime candidate. “Hernandez would be a fine replacement for Tim Tebow at tight end. Or whatever position Tebow was playing at the time,” stated sports analyst Paul Emmerlan. “And Hernandez is the exact opposite of Tebow, which should lead to a bit more respect. Guns or no guns.”

The signing of Hernandez would also help alleviate some of the controversy surrounding Mark Sanchez, whose predilection to butt coverage after the infamous butt-fumble continued into this season when he was caught pants-ing himself and dancing with two women, as is seen here.

“The Mike Goodson case just didn’t have enough legs in the media,” explained Emmerlan, referring to the new Jets running back who was found parked on a highway divider, intoxicated with illicit drugs and firearms in his possession. “Signing Hernandez would give the club plenty of legs in the media. Especially if he [Hernandez] attempts to run.”

The NFL issued a statement Thursday to NFL teams regarding Aaron Hernandez.

“NFL clubs were advised today that if Aaron Hernandez enters into a player contract prior to the resolution of the charges pending against him, the contract will not be approved or take effect until Commissioner Roger Goodell holds a hearing,” the statement said. “The purpose of the hearing would be to determine whether Hernandez should be suspended or face other action prior to the charges being resolved.”

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).