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Radwanska Perkiness Keeps Ladies Tennis in Wimbledon Alive


London, UK: It’s been a long, grueling tournament for male fans of women’s tennis at Wimbledon. Maria Sharapova’s bedroom grunting was silenced in the 2nd round. Caroline Wozniacki was soundly defeated in the radwanska_wimbledon2nd round as well. Even Alize Cornet, an acquired taste for men, only made it as far as the 3rd round.

Now, men’s interest in ladies tennis rests on the shoulders, or chest, of Agnieszka Radwanska of Poland as she squares off against Na Li of China in a quarterfinals match.

While most men did not pay much attention to Radwanska during her career, that attention became razor sharp when it was learned that Radwanska’s nipples were poking through her tennis outfit during her match against Li.

“I accidentally put on tennis, thinking I was going to watch a baseball breakdown on ESPN,” explained sports and breast enthusiast Peter Huntley. “Instead, I was mesmerized by nipples. Later, when the match was suspended due to rain, dammit, I learned I was watching Agnieszka Radwanska.”

Yes, Radwanska is now, for the rest of the matches at Wimbledon, the sweetheart player for droves of dirty young and old men. It remains to be seen if that pedestal continues to stand after today, whether through a loss by Radwanska or a change of clothing.

Still, not everyone believes that this attraction to women’s tennis by men due the attractiveness of the women is foolproof. Some believe it is just an excuse to watch women’s tennis without being made fun of.

“Men are a fickle bunch,” stated sociologist Dr. Linda Blaker. “They start off watching a women’s tennis match because a play is, as they put it, ‘hot.’ Then that player loses. Do they stop watching? No. They merely find the 2nd hottest player in the tournament and follow her matches. If she loses, they go onto the 3rd hottest. And so on and so forth. It seems that they enjoy the game, and just need to latch onto a good-looking player so that their co-workers don’t laugh at them.”

In the event that Radwanska loses, the mantle of hottest ladies tennis player left will be passed on to the Czech Republic’s Petra Kvitova, who was arguable ahead of Radwanska until Radwanska’s nipples were showing.

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).