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Zimmerman Acquittal Opens Door to Hernandez’ OJ Impression


North Attleborough, MA: The public outcry that rang out after George Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges in the death of Trayvon Martin has at least one breathing easier. Besides George Zimmerman himself, of course.


With the Zimmerman verdict, former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez has hope that, no matter what evidence may be against him in the execution-style murder of Odin Lloyd, he may be acquitted himself.

“All that is needed is the idea that an unarmed black man accosted by 3 other individuals, including Aaron Hernandez, was a viable threat,” stated court analyst James Friedner. “Then, it’s a simple case of self-defense. It may even be more open and shut than the Zimmerman trial itself.”

It is believed that the defense attorneys of Aaron Hernandez are already reconstructing how, even if on his knees, Odin Lloyd could have been considered threatening to Hernandez and the other men after they had dragged him out to the middle of nowhere.

“It’s a very OJ-style case. If you replace the white Ford Bronco with a gray Nissan Altima and a petite white woman with a large black man, the parallels to these cases are highly similar,” explained Friedner. “Due to the high demand of Hernandez Patriots jerseys on Ebay, we may even see a hotel room robbery of jerseys when this is all said and done.

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).