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A-Rod Set for MLB Decision on New Nickname


Bronx, NY: Alex Rodriguez and Major League Baseball have finally come to an unlikely agreement after months of speculation and days of negotiations.

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig announced that the two sides had finally come to terms over the conditions of A-Rod’s return to the major leagues in the wake of the Biogenesis allegations.


A-Rod had been holding out primarily over his wish to collect the balance of his contract with the New York Yankees, the balance of which stands somewhere between 60-100 million dollars. That’s a lot of money for a 38 year old often injured player accused of rampant PED use. Clearly the Yankees have been trying to get out from under the cavernous contract that their aptly named GM Brian Cashman had negotiated.

The agreement itself does not hinge on an admission of guilt per se, but does consist of a curious marketing strategy developed with cooperation between the New York Yankees and the MLB.

Based on the terms of the agreement, Rodriguez, known colloquially as A-Rod for almost his entire career, can no longer profit from that moniker associated with his likeness. Instead, under the terms of the agreement, he will now be known as either A-Roid or A-Fraud.  The final acronym is still being negotiated and decided upon.

The diminutive ‘A-Roid’ has some history, having first been coined back in the early 2000’s when steroid allegations against Rodriquez first came to light. The Rodriguez camp is said to prefer A-Roid as it has a happier sounding bounce to it and is very close to his former acronym.

It’s been reported that the MLB would prefer A-Fraud due to what it believes to be a more realistic representation of what Rodriguez is all about, particularly since he’s already collected several hundred million dollars in salary under largely fraudulent pretenses.

After the final acronym is chosen, the marketing agreement would then consist of an aggressive marketing campaign using the new moniker in both familiar and creative ways. There will be the familiar t-shirts and hats of course, but there will also be a new energy drink (A-Roid Spritzer– the new ‘juice’ when a mere 5 hours of energy just won’t do!) and/or a new legal service patterned after A-Fraud , depending on the final name chosen.

Regardless of the final outcome MLB fans will be happy to see this saga end after being teased for days that an announcement was imminent.

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