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A Noob in Fantasy Football Stage 6: Week 4


Most of what I learned about fantasy football has been from watching The League on FX. We’ll see how that holds up as I explore my first season in a fantasy football league.


Stage 6: Playing Week 4

Record: 4-0

I’ve gotten some mail here at Sports Jeer, asking, “Why the fuck do you have triple the amount of points per player that any other fantasy player has?” Well, it’s a little something called magic.

Not really. I hate magic. It really has to do with how our commissioner set the scoring. Normally on Yahoo! players get a point for every 25 yards thrown, a point for every 10 yards run, 4 points for passing touchdowns, and maybe a little bit of sugar along the way in a PPR league.

Our league has an insane amount of points because our scoring system is insane. Or genius. No, I’ll go with insane.

I am in a PPR league, so right there I’m getting points for receptions. The crazy thing is, our setting give points to quarterbacks for completions, too. QBs also get a point every 10 yards passed, not 25, along with a 10 point bonus for hitting 250 yards+ total. Passing touchdowns get 6 points, not 4. To balance all this insane QB scoring, we also lose 1 point for interceptions, which is the norm, but we also lose a point for sacks also.

And there’s more.

Receivers get 1 point every 10 yards, but also get 10 point bonuses at 100 and 200 yards. Running backs get the same treatment. 1 point per 10 yards, and 10 point bonuses at 100 and 200 yards.

It’s insane, but the whole league is playing by the same scoring system, so it’s not exactly unfair.


I dropped Ben Tate (RB-HOU) for Le’Veon Bell (RB-PIT). Tate wasn’t taking the running duties away from Arian foster that I expected, and Bell seemed like a better gamble long-term. That’s right. I’ve got enough depth on my team to look long-term. Besides, I have MJD and a broken Steven Jackson. I needed an every down back to replace either of these guys.

Matt Ryan (ATL): QB1

Projected Points: 71

Okay, Matt Ryan did kind of shitty last week against the Dolphins, but I have high hopes that, against a shittier Patriots defense, he’ll be in a shootout with Tom Brady.

Results: 95

Fuck yeah, he did.

Demaryius Thomas (DEN): WR1

Projected Points: 18

Demaryius Thomas just reached his projection last week, against the Raiders. I guess that happens when you have a Hall of Fame-bound quarterback passing to 3 Pro bowl receivers and a soon-to-be Pro Bowl tight-end. hopefully this week fares better.

Results: 29

Yup, that Philadelphia defense were who we thought they were.

Reggie Wayne (IND): WR2

Projected Points: 13

It’s always a little sketchy starting a receiver who’s playing Jacksonville, because you figure the team will get off 2 or 3 big passing plays, score 3 touchdowns, and then sit on the ball as the Jaguars helplessly go 3-and-out over and over. I crossed my fingers that Reggie Wayne would get those 2 or 3 big passing plays.

Results: 31

Reggie Wayne got those 2 or 3 big passing games. Well, 5 of them, equaling 100 yards that gets me that point bonus. Crisis averted.

Antonio Brown (PIT): WR3

Projected Points: 16

I pretty much had to either start Antonio Brown or gamble on the waiver wire because James Jones had a bye week, but with Heath Miller and Le’Veon Bell back with the Steelers, I probably would have started Brown anyway because the field has to open up a bit more for him. Especially against the Vikings.

Results: 21

The field opened up a little, but Bell seemed to be eating up those goal line touchdowns like PacMan. And not the Jones version on the Bengals.

Jamaal Charles (KC): RB1

Projected Points: 21

Seriously, how many other running backs get projections in the twenties? Jamaal Charles is becoming the new “All-Day” in my eyes.

Results: 23

What, no 30 point day today? i may have to bench Charles next week. Shame shame.

Maurice Jones-Drew (JAC): RB2

Projected Points: 12

Well, my Ryan Mathews experiment failed. MJD went and got a bunch of junk yardage while Mathews continued to stumble in expectations. So, I went back to the original 1-2 punch.

Results: 3

I think the fantasy football gods are toying with me. MJD crashes and burns this week while Ryan Mathews exceeds expectations. This is why I picked up Le’Veon Bell off the waiver wire during his bye week. I can’t trust either of these guys, and Steven Jackson is still 3 weeks away.

Jimmy Graham (NO): TE

Projected Points: 18

Sometimes I want to click Jimmy Graham out of my starting lineup just to see how far my projected score drops, but I don’t want to jinx anything.

Results: 36

Just another day at the office.

Steven Hauschka (SEA): K

Projected Points: 8

Seriously. It’s a kicker. Maybe I’ll get lucky and the Seahawks will get into a 3-point battle with the Texans. Maybe.

Results: 13

They kind of did.

Houston (HOU): DEF/ST

Projected Points: 6

Goddammit. Why aren’t the Texans stopping anyone from scoring? Can we have just one blowout? Please?

Results: 10

No blowout. Not even close.

How I Did


Week 4 Points: 261

Total Points: 858

I won handily 190-151, but only because my opponent’s team was just as banged up as mine. Even more so, since that team had Jermichael Finley, who suffered a concussion during the coin-toss.

I finally had the most fantasy points for the week, but still, does that mean I did that well, or did the rest of the league do that poorly? Was this “show-off our underestimated teammates” week in the NFL?

Whatever. I survived 3-0 leading into the first bye week. I may not want to masturbate to my lineup like Rodney Ruxin, but it’s decent. And I have some moves left, trust me.

Coming up next, Stage 7: Week 5 tinkering, playing, and (hopefully) winning.

Stage 1: Setting Up Your Fantasy Football Team

Stage 2: The Draft! Well, Not Really…

Stage 2.1: The Official Draft

Stage 3: Playing Week 1

Stage 4: Playing Week 2

Stage 5: Playing Week 3

Stage 6: Playing Week 4

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).