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A Noob in Fantasy Football Stage 8: Week 6


Most of what I learned about fantasy football has been from watching The League on FX. We’ll see how that holds up as I explore my first season in a fantasy football league.


Stage 8: Playing Week 6

Record: 5-1

This is probably going to be one of my toughest match-ups. I’m playing a team that had the 1st round pick, and obviously picked up Adrian Peterson. To add to the pain, he also picked up Peyton Manning. Yup. The #1 fantasy quarterback and the #1 fantasy running back on the same damn team. Pray for me.

*UPDATE* Aaaaaaaaaand I have my first loss, coupled with my worst score. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t have mattered who I played on my bench. Players were either injured or didn’t play up to expectations.


I finally got rid of that garbage bag named Ryan Mathews in order to pick up Alshon Jeffery, like I should have done last week. Hopefully Steven Jackson is back next week, or I’m going to feel some pain starting MJD again.

Philip Rivers (SD): QB1

Projected Points: 71

Considering how everyone on offense for the Falcons is hurt except for Matt Ryan and Tony Gonzalez, I probably would have picked Phoenix Rivers anyway. Since the Falcons are on bye, I really don’t have a choice.

Results: 49

I had hopes that Rivers and Luck would duel it out in a passing shootout so that Rivers would get an insane amount of point and maybe help me pull out a win. Alas, it was not to be.

Demaryius Thomas (DEN): WR1

Projected Points: 17

Okay, so Demaryius may leave the game by the half like the rest of the Broncos 1st string offense, but I’m sure he’ll get his numbers against the Jaguars by then. Manning probably thinks he felt left out of last week’s shoot-out. At least, I hope that’s the case.

Results: 10

So yeah. There was no blow-out. Instead, the Broncos played their version of a trap game: they only won by 16 points, and Demaryius didn’t get much love.

Reggie Wayne (IND): WR2

Projected Points: 16

Wayne has to get some love against the Chargers. I’m hoping for a shootout, but who knows with Philip Rivers’ inconsistency and the Colts focusing on the run for some reason.

Results: 13

Like I said in my Rivers analysis, I had high hopes for a shootout, which would have given Reggie Wayne a big pile of points, too. No such Luck.

Alshon Jeffery (CHI): WR3

Projected Points: 14

I’m playing the hot hand. The Giants defense can’t sack groceries (I know, horrible metaphor), so Jay Cutler should be able to keep Brandon Marshall from whining and still get some balls to Jeffery.

Results: 4

Dammit! Marshall got fed, all right, but Jeffery missed out on 2 catches that could have blown this score up. I guess I should have left Antonio Brown in.

Jamaal Charles (KC): RB1

Projected Points: 21

Jamaal Charles has blisters on his feet. Probably because those feet have been ON FIYA! We have fun here.

Results: 29

At least one of my players showed up for their game this week!

Le’Veon Bell (PIT): RB2

Projected Points: 9

Bell was great in London 2 weeks ago. After a bye week, I’m sure he is ready to roll through the rest of this season. Sure, he’s playing a great run defense in the Jets but, really, I have no choice. It’s either Bell or MJD.

Results: 8

Okay, I didn’t expect a whole lot better against the Jets defense, but I definitely didn’t expect to be wishing I had played MJD, who scored 15 points. It wouldn’t have made a difference, but still. Points are pride.

Jimmy Graham (NO): TE

Projected Points: 20

I’m sure the Patriots will give Jimmy Graham some extra attention, but really, what are they going to do, put 3 d-backs on him? He got a touchdown while being covered by two.

Results: 0

Jimmy Graham became mortal this weekend. Dammit. He also tweaked something, but supposedly it isn’t major, and the Saints have a bye next week, so I can’t play him anyway.

Steven Hauschka (SEA): K

Projected Points: 8

The Titans have a defense that gives up some yards, but keeps offenses out of the end zone relatively well. That means lots and lots of field goals.

Results: 8

It’s too bad Hauschka didn’t kick 50 field goals. Then maybe I would have had a shot at winning this week.

Houston (HOU): DEF/ST

Projected Points: 6

I don’t know why I do this to myself. Eventually, the Texans defense will cost me a game and I’ll drop them, only to see someone else pick them up and get 5 shutouts in a row.

Results: 0

For the first time ever, my Yahoo Fantasy Football phone app gave me a little red flag, which scared the crap out of me. I thought maybe the league was cancelled, or my commissioner moved all of my players to free agency because he didn’t like me.

No, it was an alert to let me know that the Texans defense sucks so badly that everyone in fantasy football is dropping from their roster. I will probably do the same.

How I Did


Week 6 Points: 121

Total Points: 1,220

I have been humbled with my first loss, showing me that, yes, fantasy football is not a science. It is a little bit of knowledge mixed with a whole lot of luck.

Not only did I receive my first loss, but I dropped from 1st to 3rd place. Oh well. Maybe now my beginner’s luck ego will take a breather.

Coming up next, Stage 9: Week 7 tinkering, playing, and (hopefully) winning.

Stage 1: Setting Up Your Fantasy Football Team

Stage 2: The Draft! Well, Not Really…

Stage 2.1: The Official Draft

Stage 3: Playing Week 1

Stage 4: Playing Week 2

Stage 5: Playing Week 3

Stage 6: Playing Week 4

Stage 7: Playing Week 5

Stage 8: Playing Week 6

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).