Follow Our Updates!
  • Facebook
  • RSS Feed for Posts
  • Twitter

A Noob in Fantasy Football Stage 9: Week 7


Most of what I learned about fantasy football has been from watching The League on FX. We’ll see how that holds up as I explore my first season in a fantasy football league.


Stage 9: Playing Week 7

Record: 5-2

Let it never be said that fantasy football doesn’t emulate real, blood and sweat football perfectly.

In the span of a season, your star players can be injured, or look better on paper than on the field, or may put up big numbers but just aren’t cohesive enough with the other players to pull out a win. Maybe that gut feeling you had that Steven Jackson was going to be an older, slower Jamaal Charles, and instead has yet to find his way into your lineup because of injury. Maybe that Monday Night Football wince when Reggie Wayne went down looked just a bit more painful because that was your WR3 on the ground.

Maybe I’m taking things a bit too seriously, but it’s less serious than calling out players on Twitter, threatening their family. Seriously, how do you threaten someone who’s inactive?


Goodbye, Houston defense. Matt Schaub or not, the Texans’ offense keeps that defense on the field way too long. I dropped them and added the Carolina defense against St. Louis, which means I’ll probably be switching the defense out every week to play match-ups like a big boy fantasy football player whose initial defense drops the ball…literally.

Philip Rivers (SD): QB1

Projected Points: 72

Okay, so Phoenix Rivers didn’t have an amazing game against the Colts last week. So what? He could have put up another 40 points, and I still wouldn’t have won. I was playing the Manning/Peterson tandem team without my star receiver, Jimmy Graham. Rivers against Jacksonville? I have just enough faith in Jacksonville to give this game some legs. Besides, who is Matt Ryan going to throw to all day, Tony Gonzalez? Maybe Mike Smith will come out and line up in the X position?

Results: 65

I can’t say Rivers did bad, but when your alternate QB, Matt Ryan, blows up the Tampa Bay defense, you have to second guess yourself. Especially if you lose.

Demaryius Thomas (DEN): WR1

Projected Points: 16

Last week was another dud for Thomas. It seems like Manning doesn’t like to just heave the ball up anymore, and he really didn’t have to through the season so far. I can only hope he does just to wipe the grin off of Jim Irsay’s face.

Results: 18

Manning tried to get the ball to Thomas. All the time. In double and triple coverage. All it did was get Thomas his expected points, and gave the Denver Broncos their first loss of the season, and helped pour the dirt on my team this week.

Reggie Wayne (IND): WR2

Projected Points: 16

The Colts are trying to become a rush first team. Or, maybe they’re just saying that to keep teams off guard. It’s hard to believe they would trade away draft picks for Trent Richardson for a ruse, but it could happen.

But this is a game against Manning and the Broncos. Balls will be thrown. Dreams will be shattered. Reggie Wayne will get big chunks of yardage. Thumbs up!

Results: 10

Dammit. Not only did Wayne not get all the catches, but he tore his ACL on a bad pass and is out for the season. All of a sudden, my nice, fluffy wide receiver corps, who were going to be trade bait, got that much slimmer. I just wish he went down getting me all the fantasy points, not on an un-catchable ball.

Antonio Brown (PIT): WR3

Projected Points: 18

The Ravens defense is good but, really, Antonio Brown is the guy Roethlisberger will be throwing to. Which kind of sucks for me, considering I have Le’Veon Bell at running back and Heath Miller at tight end. That’s a lot of bodies taking away each others’ points.

Results: 11

Yeah. So, that happened. If it wasn’t for the Steelers’ game-winning drive, Brown probably would have gotten me about 3 points.

Jamaal Charles (KC): RB1

Projected Points: 20

If history means anything to this season, the Houston Texans defense sucks, and Jamaal Charles will fly around them all day like he does to every other team. Then he’ll rush to eat the clock, because Case Keenum can’t be much better that Matt Schaub.

Results: 18

You know you have an awesome running back when they give you 18 points and you’re like, “Da fuck was that?”

My “Da fuck was that?” happened when Charles couldn’t push for 1 yard to get an easy touchdown.

Le’Veon Bell (PIT): RB2

Projected Points: 11

It looks like Steven Jackson suffered a setback in his injury, aka has old-ass legs. This means my RB2 position has become a gambling carousel. Will Bell be better than MJD this week? My gut says, “yes.”

Results: 10

Well, I was right. Bell got 10 points, MJD got 6, and S-Jax sat. Yaaaaayyyy……..

Heath Miller (PIT): TE

Projected Points: 11

The good news is that Jimmy Graham suffered his foor injury going into his bye. The bad news is, I have to hope for the best with Heath Miller against a touch Ravens defense during this bye week.

Results: 7

Yeah, no one got any points in this game. I’m lucky Miller got a touchdown in his two catches.

Steven Hauschka (SEA): K

Projected Points: 7

I’m starting to believe I may have the greatest kicker in the league. Which means that Seattle is definitely not one of the best offenses in the league. Field goals = less touchdowns. Doesn’t matter much to me.

Results: 13

Hauschka racked up the 4th highest points on my team, not including D/ST. Good for Hauschka, bad for my team.

Panthers (CAR): DEF/ST

Projected Points: 8

Well, here we go. Time to see if my defense and special teams woes follow me to another team while the Texans end up with 5 safeties, 10 sacks, and 3 pick-sixes. It could happen.

Results: 20

Hey, look at that! Double-digit points for a defense! I heard legends about it, but never saw it myself. At least, on my team.

Oh wait. They got 10 points 3 weeks ago against the Seahawks before they put up back-to-back donuts. My bad.

How I Did


Week 7 Points: 172

Total Points: 1,392

Well, I lost again. I lost a high profile player, too. I lost some dignity, and I lost a chance to make a big trade that would have helped me steer clear of any real damage.

What I didn’t lose, however,was my 3rd place ranking, so I guess it could be worse.

Coming up next, Stage 10: Week 8 tinkering, playing, and (hopefully) winning.

Stage 1: Setting Up Your Fantasy Football Team

Stage 2: The Draft! Well, Not Really…

Stage 2.1: The Official Draft

Stage 3: Playing Week 1

Stage 4: Playing Week 2

Stage 5: Playing Week 3

Stage 6: Playing Week 4

Stage 7: Playing Week 5

Stage 8: Playing Week 6

Stage 9: Playing Week 7

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).