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A Noob in Fantasy Football: Week 10


Most of what I learned about fantasy football has been from watching The League on FX. We’ll see how that holds up as I explore my first season in a fantasy football league.


Week 10

Record: 7-3

This week can be considered my “Taco Bye Week.” I don’t know if this usually happens in leagues because this is my first one, but my next opponent is 0-9. He may have fully given up on fantasy football life and doesn’t even swap out inactive players due to bye, injury, or the terribility factor. I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I don’t want to be his first win, just in case he wakes up and decides to play just for our week.


For 3 weeks I’ve been throwing trade packages at the guy that owns Calvin Johnson.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: who the hell is going to trade away Calvin Johnson? Are you drunk?

No, I’m not…at the moment, nor at any time I was trying to get this trade going. The owner of Calvin Johnson had Calvin Johnson in his receiving corps, and that’s it. His next best receiver was DeAndre Hopkins of Houston. I figured that it would be a fair trade to give him 1 great receiver and 2 damn fine receivers that would give him some depth. If I was in his position, I would make the trade, and that’s the logic I follow when trying to make trades. Well, at least this first attempt.

So I threw out some options to him.

Week 7 packages: Antonio Brown, Alshon Jeffery, and Harry Douglas. I also told him that, if he wanted to upgrade a running back, I could replace a receiver with Le’Veon Bell. I didn’t get an answer, and took the trade off the table Saturday. Week 9 packages: He actually reaches out to me for a trade. He wants to give me Greg Jennings for James Jones. This was before Aaron Rodgers got hurt so, even though Jones was injured, I rejected the trade with the note, “I’m still hot for Megatron.” He responded with another trade request for James Jones, this time offering up DeAndre Hopkins. I replied with an offer of my own: Demaryius Thomas, Harry Douglas, and James Jones, along with a bunch of other replacement options, for Calvin Johnson. Again, no answer, so I took the trade off the board on Saturday.

Week 10: I give it one more shot, with one of the most random trade offers ever: Demaryius Thomas, James Jones, and Steven Jackson for Calvin Johnson. I make this offer on Tuesday. No answer for almost 3 days. Finally, I pull up my roster Friday night, and prepare to take the trade off the board. I click “cancel trade.” Instead, the board logs me out. Huh. As I’m about to log in again, I get an email: “Multiple Scorganisms has accepted your trade offer, and will be reviewed by your commissioner.” I did it. I am now the proud owner of Calvin Johnson. And I almost cancelled the trade again.

The moral of the story is, leave trades up as long as possible. Don’t tinker unless someone is injured. Who knows? Maybe the other player is just thinking really hard about it. Or hasn’t logged into their account all week.

In other moves, I replaced MJD with Zac Stacy and dropped Heath Miller for Keenan Allen. Obviously this pales in comparison to my mega-trade.

How I Did


Week 9 Points: 169

Total Points: 1,969

If you heard all about the high-scoring shootout that was supposed to happen between Peyton Manning and Phoenix Rivers, I’m sorry to say that it didn’t happen. Manning got a ton of points with the Broncos, but Philip Rivers just didn’t play like he usually does. Well, he played like he usually does for the past 2 seasons, not this season. Matt Ryan barely got more points than Rivers, and the Falcons had to deal with the Seahawks this week, so it wasn’t like I chose wrong. I just had an off week. Unfortunately, I picked up Keenan Allen for that double-shot of points, and that clearly didn’t happen. Instead, Alshon Jeffery sat on my bench, accumulating 30 points.

Calvin Johnson didn’t put up 60 points, but I didn’t really expect him to. I traded him for Demaryius Thomas plus others because I liked the stability. Sure, Thomas scored more this week, but next week he may score 8 points because Manning is throwing the ball to Julius Thomas, Wes Welker, Eric Decker, the Bronco mascot…take your pick. I stand by the move.

Jimmy Graham ended up having a horrible game just to show me that, no, I should not start him even if he has no legs like I talked about last week. 10 points is like a “0” to Graham owners.

Hauschka kicked the ball to the haus (while I just kicked a horrible joke to the wind) and gave me 19 points due to bonuses for field goals. That means my kicker scored more points than my tight-end and one of my receivers combined, and outscored each of my running backs. I’m not sure whether to cry, or waste a roster spot on saving Hauschka when his bye week rolls around.

I ended up winning because, yes, the other player didn’t play, ie left Julian Edelman and the PAtriots defense in his line-up during their bye. So, GOOOOOOOO ME!

Coming up next: Week 11 tinkering, playing, and (hopefully) winning.

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).