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Kyle Orton to Sober Up and Replace Tony Romo as Cowboys QB



Good news, Cowboys fans! With the NFC East and the only hope of making the playoffs the reward, next week’s game against the Philadelphia Eagles may be lacking that Achilles heel that always seems to come up big in the big game. Well, come up big as in being a big-ass failboat.

That failboat is Tony Romo, who could out for the rest of the NFL season due to a back injury he suffered in the Cowboys’ win over the Washington Redskins. A definitive answer to the status of Romo has not been declared, but that hasn’t stopped the excitement of Cowboys fans, who hope to see the former Fat Dave Grohl and possibly still drunk journeyman quarterback, Kyle Orton.


Orton’s drinking, and NFL career, have made him the annual backup quarterback for teams such as the Chicago Bears from 2005-2008, Denver Broncos from 2009-2011, Kansas City Chiefs in 2011, and now the Dallas Cowboys from 2012-today.

With such a catalog of failure, there seems to be no difference whatsoever between Romo and Orton.

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).