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Asinine Analysis Super Bowl XLVIII: Seattle Seahawks VS Denver Broncos


John Leyba/The Denver Post/Getty Images

This year’s playoff run t0 Super Bowl XVLIII was rife with expectations that were so obvious we had to believe that the hype would be wrong. Instead, we were wrong to believe the hype was wrong, and are given the match-up that nobody but the stats sheets expected: the Seattle Seahawks and their Legion of Boom against the Denver Broncos and their Offense of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Here were some of expectations:

  1. The #1 seeds of the AFC and NFC meet in the Super Bowl: CHECK
  2. The #1 offense in the NFL and the #1 defense in the NFL meet in the Super Bowl: CHECK
  3. Richard Sherman says some dumb shit: CHECK
  4. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick consider retirement with playoff loss: CAN’T GET THEM ALL RIGHT
  5. Peyton Manning caps a season of breaking records, another NFL MVP award, and steam-rolling through the playoffs with a 2nd Super Bowl win, cementing his status as the greatest quarterback in history: PENDING

This will be the 6th time that the #1 offense and defense in the NFL met in the Super Bowl. So far, defense has trumped offense 4-1, but Peyton Manning has been on the underdog side of discussions all season. If you don’t believe that, check back on how many times ports analysts were trashing Manning about winning “big games” and how “he’s old” and how he’s “throwing ducks.” Manning’s run to the Super Bowl this year is mythical because it wasn’t believable, but he did it anyway.

Now that the preliminary expectations have been squared away, we can take aim at some Super Bowl expectations by looking at the lines and picks, as well as some more absurd over/under lines that should be taken up by Vegas.

Line: Denver -3    Pick: Denver

Over/Under Points: 48   Pick: Under

Over/Under Times Peyton Manning yells “Omaha”: 47   Pick: Over

Over/Under Times Seahawks don’t get a holding/pass interference penalty: 5   Pick: Under

Over/Under Hugs Pete Carroll gives out on camera: 15   Pick: Over

Over/Under Skittles thrown onto the field: 2000   Pick: Under

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).