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LeBron James Ready for Lead Role in Black Mask 3

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Miami, FL— When it comes to LeBron James, everything is news and nothing is safe. The latest news has to do with the protective face-gear James wore as the Miami Heat defeated the New York Knicks in Miami. The face-guard was necessary for his first game since suffering a broken nose against the Oklahoma City Thunder last week.

Less pop culture-savvy news reporters have compared James’ carbon-fiber mask to Zorro, Batman, The Lone Ranger, Destro fro G.I. Joe, Kato, and Hannibal Lecter. However, the truth is that LeBron may be lobbying for the featured role of Black Mask 3, the martial arts franchise that Jet Li launched and has been forgotten even before its sequel, Black Mask 2: City of Masks.

“It’s a perfect replica,” stated costume designer Emily Adams. “All LeBron James is missing is a chauffeur hat, but he can probably borrow that from his driver when he needs to.”

It is unknown if LeBron James will be forced to learn to martial arts stunts or if producers will merely have him stand still, or dunk a basketball. “This franchise is so dead, it really doesn’t matter, stated executive producer Martin Martinson. “We could hint at it being a martial arts prequel to Space Jam 2 and people will flock to theaters. It’s like ‘The Decision’ all over again.”

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).