It’s fantasy football draft month, and you know what that means: countless ranking sheets that make you so dizzy that you end up drafting Chad Johnson in the 6th round. Don’t be embarrassed, we’ve all been there. Granted, I’ve only been there when testing out what retired players are still available so I can troll mock drafts, but still, been there.
But don’t worry. I have, right here, the definitive rankings that will guarantee that you at least beat me in fantasy football. Whether or not that translates into beating anyone else is up for debate. This is Asinine Analysis.
We continue our rankings with one of the moneymakers of the draft: wide receiver.
Captain Obvious: Calvin Johnson, Detroit Lions
It is believed that Calvin Johnson has finally drained all of the junk out of his bum knee, and will be back to the form that got him his own sneakers and Transformer.
Yeah, back to form. As if last year’s stats of 84 receptions, 1,492 yards, and 12 touchdowns wasn’t good enough. Even more ridiculous is that he only played in 14 games.
Helpless #1 Receiver: Cecil Shorts III, Jacksonville Jaguars
For the sake of argument, let’s say that Cecil Shorts III is the #1 receiver over rookie Marqise Lee. Even if you want to replace Shorts’ name with Lee’s, the fact remains the same: the Jaguars have no one to get either of them the ball.
The run game will be as sloppy as last year, leading to a lot of throwing by Henne and/or Bortles. Usually this is good news, but Shorts had 66 receptions for 777 yards and 3 touchdowns. With Lee there, that stat goes down, as if it wasn’t bad enough.
While Everyone Pays Attention to the Other Guy: Markus Wheaton, Pittsburgh Steelers
While Antonio Brown was driving defenses crazy with short 5-yard hitch passes from Ben Roethlisberger that he would run 60 yards for a touchdown, there was another wide receiver that wasn’t as flashy, but posted solid numbers for a low-end WR2 or high-end flex: Emmanuel Sanders.
Take a look at these stats: 67 receptions, 740 yards, 6 touchdowns.
Now that Sanders is slamming Big Ben while playing under Peyton Manning, those receptions have to go somewhere. Maybe tight end Heath Miller catches a few, but the guy who can slide right in and replace Sanders in catches and fantasy football placement is Markus Wheaton.
Have questions about tight end rankings? Or just want to tell me how ridiculous my rankings are? Go ahead and comment, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
|Fantasy Football Rankings 2014|