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Fantasy Football Quarterback Rankings 2014

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It’s fantasy football draft month, and you know what that means: countless ranking sheets that make you so dizzy that you end up drafting Chad Johnson in the 6th round. Don’t be embarrassed, we’ve all been there. Granted, I’ve only been there when testing out what retired players are still available so I can troll mock drafts, but still, been there.

But don’t worry. I have, right here, the definitive rankings that will guarantee that you at least beat me in fantasy football. Whether or not that translates into beating anyone else is up for debate. This is Asinine Analysis.

We continue our rankings with the biggest playmaker in NFL games, but not so much usually in fantasy games: quarterback.

Captain Obvious: Peyton Manning, Denver Broncos

Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

There is no arguing that Peyton Manning is in a tier of his own in fantasy football. Manning had almost 5,500 yards and 55 touchdowns spread across every game. His lowest stand scoring was 13, but that was against the Jaguars when the Broncos were ahead 14-0 at the end of the first quarter.

He may not hit those ridiculous numbers again but, unless his neck is twisted 180 degrees, he’ll be far better off than the next grouping of Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees.

Patient Zero: Whoever, Cleveland Browns

browns_qbs

For those of you on the “OMG JOHNNY MANZIEL” bandwagon, just stop it. It doesn’t matter which ending of “polarizing” you are with Johnny Football. The fact remains, even if he steals the starting quarterback position, he has no one to throw to.

Josh Gordon is appealing his season-long suspension, which means he may play a whole three games in the end. After that, there’s Jordan Cameron, Andrew “Why?” Hawkins and Miles Austin, who may get injured in Week 1 during team introductions.

Cheap Labor: Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons

matt_ryan

In my useless tests in mock drafts, I’ve been able to draft Matt Ryan in round 7 and 8 95% of the time when I have Pick #7. He was a pretty serviceable quarterback most weeks last season, mostly because he had to launch the ball because the defense was one of the worst ever.

Now Ryan has Julio Jones back, Roddy White healthy, and the Jamaal Charles-like potential of Devonta Freeman. Well worth the wait. For ME. (Geez, I hate it when fantasy football analysts say that.) Well worth the wait for EVERYONE.

Have questions about quarterback rankings? Or just want to tell me how ridiculous my rankings are? Go ahead and comment, or email me at editor@sportsjeer.com.

 

Fantasy Football Pre-Rankings 2014
Quarterbacks
Player Team Rank Bye Week
Peyton Manning DEN QB1 4
Aaron Rodgers GB QB2 9
Drew Brees NO QB3 6
Matthew Stafford DET QB4 9
Andrew Luck IND QB5 10
Matt Ryan ATL QB6 9
Robert Griffin III WAS QB7 10
Colin Kaepernick SF QB8 8
Jay Cutler CHI QB9 9
Tom Brady NE QB10 10
Tony Romo DAL QB11 11
Alex Smith KC QB12 6
Cam Newton CAR QB13 12
Andy Dalton CIN QB14 4
Nick Foles PHI QB15 7
Eli Manning NYG QB16 8
Philip Rivers SD QB17 10
Sam Bradford STL QB18 4
Joe Flacco BAL QB19 11
Carson Palmer ARI QB20 4
Ben Roethlisberger PIT QB21 12
Russell Wilson SEA QB22 4
Geno Smith NYJ QB23 9
Ryan Tannehill MIA QB24 5
EJ Manuel BUF QB25 9
Josh McCown TB QB26 7
Ryan Fitzpatrick HOU QB27 10
Matt Schaub OAK QB28 5
Jake Locker TEN QB39 9
Matt Cassel/Teddy Bridgewater MIN QB30 10
Chad Henne/Blake Bortles JAC QB31 11
Brian Hoyer/Johnny Manziel CLE QB32 4
sportsjeer.com

 

About Author

Patrick is a self-proclaimed NFL analyst, critic, and lampooner, but he has also been known to provide commentary on baseball, basketball, hockey, MMA, and even cricket one time when he was delirious. Patrick is also a major homer when it comes to sports teams in his home state of NY, although he reserves the majority of his mockery to those teams. His heartbreaking teams are the New York Jets (football), New York Knicks (basketball), New York Islanders (hockey), Long Island Lizards (lacrosse), and evens it all out as a fan of the New York Yankees (baseball).