It’s fantasy football draft month, and you know what that means: countless ranking sheets that make you so dizzy that you end up drafting Chad Johnson in the 6th round. Don’t be embarrassed, we’ve all been there. Granted, I’ve only been there when testing out what retired players are still available so I can troll mock drafts, but still, been there.
But don’t worry. I have, right here, the definitive rankings that will guarantee that you at least beat me in fantasy football. Whether or not that translates into beating anyone else is up for debate. This is Asinine Analysis.
We continue our rankings with the biggest playmaker in fantasy games: running back.
Captain Obvious: Jamaal Charles, Kansas City Chiefs
I had Jamaal Charles on a fantasy team last year, which is why I probably won. While Charles may not get you a bonus for 100 yards rushing or receiving, he will probably get you close to both in one game, which is where his value lies and why he deserves to be the #1 pick.
Think I’m crazy? Think Adrian Peterson is still the big dog, or that LeSean McCoy has the seat? Last year, Charles had 1,287 rushing yards, the most for the Chiefs. Who had the most receiving yards? Jamaal Charles. Who had the most points besides the kicker? Jamaal Charles. Who probably had more passing yards than Alex Smith? Let me check… okay, NOT Jamaal Charles, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.
Duped: Knowshon Moreno, Miami Dolphins
Technically, the Miami Dolphins get the Duped award, but Knowshon Moreno is the player. While “No-Show” finally showed up in running back rankings last year, it was due to a box that included maybe three defensive linemen at a time thanks to Peyton Manning squawking and flapping his arms before every play.
Ryan Tannehill is not Peyton Manning. Mike Wallace is not Demaryius Thomas. Brian Hartline is not Eric Decker.
Fantasy Ground-Zero: Ahmad Bradshaw, Indianapolis Colts
Maybe I just don’t believe in Trent Richardson to the point that I think a bowling ball would get more yards, but I think Ahmad Bradshaw of the Indianapolis Colts has major potential this year as a pass-catching running back in a “still trying to be balanced” offense. Sure, Bradshaw had neck surgery, but who hasn’t? Peyton Manning, David Wilson…oh.
Screw it. That’s why this is a Ground-Zero award. You take someone who no one in your draft even remembers is playing, and reap the awards when the season is over.
Have questions about running back rankings? Or just want to tell me how ridiculous my rankings are? Go ahead and comment, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
|Fantasy Football Pre-Rankings 2014|